A lyrical listicle

Cheese guitar

Despite what Writer-C believes, I think a world without music would be far worse than a world without cheese.

And because songs contain words, I reckon I can get away with writing a blog post about great lyrics.

So here are a few of my favourites, in the easily digestible style of a Buzzfeed listicle…

1. BEST OPENING LYRIC
‘I guess I should’ve known
By the way you parked your car sideways
That it wouldn’t last.
See you’re the kinda person
That believes in makin’ out once
Love ‘em and leave ‘em fast.’

Little Red Corvette
Prince

2. BEST DESCRIPTION OF A NIGHT OUT
‘There’s a club if you’d like to go.
You could meet somebody who really loves you.
So you go and you stand on your own.
And you leave on your own.
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die.’

How Soon Is Now
The Smiths

3. BEST WAY OF SAYING ‘SHE WAS ATTRACTIVE’
‘This beautiful blend
I knew her through a mutual friend.
She was a work of art
part of my heart
from back then.
A brown skin singer
with a knack for acting.
And her attraction
was just fractionally
based on…
surface.’

The ‘Notic
The Roots

4. BEST POST BREAK-UP VITRIOL
‘Idiot wind.
Blowing every time you move your mouth.
Blowing down the back roads headin’ south.
Idiot wind.
Blowing every time you move your teeth.
You’re an idiot, babe.
It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe.’

Idiot Wind
Bob Dylan

5. BEST SUMMATION OF THE JOYS OF EXISTENCE
‘A heart that’s full up like a landfill.
A job that slowly kills you.
Bruises that won’t heal.
You look so tired, unhappy.
Bring down the government.
They don’t, they don’t speak for us.
I’ll take a quiet life.
A handshake of carbon monoxide.’

No Surprises
Radiohead

6. BEST JUSTIFICATION OF CAREER CHOICE
‘Now I’m thirteen
Smokin’ blunts, makin’ cream.
On the drug scene
Fuck a football team.
Risking ruptured spleens
By the age of sixteen.
Hearing the coach scream
Ain’t my lifetime dream.’

Respect
The Notorious B.I.G.

7. BEST RESPONSE TO BEING SUED BY A FORMER BANDMATE
‘Beware!
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges.
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can’t pay.
Take the easy way
And give in.’

The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get
Morrissey

8. BEST WAY OF EXPRESSING LOVE FOR A PARENT
‘When she’s gone I’ll miss our slow easy walks
Playing scrabble with the chimes of the grandfather clock.
I’ll even miss the times that we fought.
But mostly I’ll miss being able to call her and talk.’

I Can’t Live Without My Mother’s Love
Sun Kil Moon

9. BEST WAY OF QUESTIONING BELIEFS
‘Please don’t get me twisted, I’m far from a heathen.
This is just a simple song of basic rhyme and reason.
It’s not my meaning to demean or blaspheme.
But most things in the Bible ain’t as plain as they seem.
Can I trust King James to translate these papers?
Do I need a middle-man to link with the creator?’

Sinny Sin Sins
Roots Manuva

10. BEST CLOSING LYRIC
‘Mother, mother
Everybody thinks we’re wrong.
Who are they to judge us
Simply cause we wear our hair long?’

Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)
Marvin Gaye

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